Choosing not to be silent: Two years on from 15 March 2019

Grief is the reaction to loss. It is easy to think grief is solely about the loss of someone near and dear. Grief takes different forms and the physical proximity from a traumatic event has no relevance. Yesterday we honoured the memory of the 51 shuhadha (martyrs) marking 2 years since the Christchurch terror attacks. Alongside the grief of loss for them and their loved ones, is another pervasive grief that I have been carrying and I know I am not alone in carrying it. The attacks shook my sense of identity and belonging in Aotearoa. It made me doubt the safety of being vocal and open about my identity as a Muslim Kiwi. By doing so, am I exposing myself and my family to risks that had never before crossed my mind? The reality of this threat is with me constantly, in both the overt and covert racism I encounter, in personal conversations, in unsolicited messages on social media after a speech or article - all very real and right here in Aotearoa. How I dress doesn’t disclose my faith which means I could if I chose to, be silent about my faith and try to blend in.

I choose not to be silent though, I choose to embrace my identity and my faith openly. I believe by doing so, I am able to play a small part in giving voice to the younger generations of Muslims growing up in Aotearoa – who may be your work colleagues, your football buddies, your friends’ friends – who may not be visibly Muslim but live with the reality of constantly being told we do not belong in the country we call home. As we mark two years since the attacks, it feels like we are still having the same conversations with little progress. Yet I have hope. I hope that we are braver in calling out racism everywhere we see it, especially the covert, “unintentional” kind. I hope that we let go of the notion of othering that saw us say “They” are Us and instead embrace our differences as a collective, united Us. I hope we keep doing better to create an Aotearoa where everyone can feel true belonging, no matter their faith or identity. And for those of us grieving, go gently with yourselves, knowing you are not alone 🤍

Clip from TVNZ Q+A
Image credit: @hurianakt.a